His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I accidentally had phone sex last night
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Randomize
