i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I want a musical about memes.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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