Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
she woke up with a sticky ear
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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