Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
