I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
