Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
