No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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