You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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