Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
