I will die if light touches me.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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