So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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