1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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