you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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