the day after is always just damage control
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
