Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Drunk is not a location!
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
