At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
