Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Welp...herpes.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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