I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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