I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
