I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Operation Purity has been aborted
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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