now i know why i became what i already was.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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