Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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