fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
