Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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