Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
