Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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