the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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