JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
