I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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