Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
