You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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