His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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