you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
