Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
