Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Randomize
