did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
