I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
