you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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