I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
