Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
