He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
So vagazzling was a success
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize