similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
