all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
