Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
