Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
