Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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