Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
