you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize