Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
do herpes really smell.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
