Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
