Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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