I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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