This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
