its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
