We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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