She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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