Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
